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Exercise: Running the Gauntlet to Find the Enemy Within

Summary: Find Out if You are Your Own Best Friend or Worst Enemy

For Quick Access to This Exercise:

To get to the parts of this exercise you are most interested in viewing, click on the link below to go there. For best results, read through the entire exercise at least once.

Background on This Exercise
Goal of This Exercise
Preparation for This Exercise
How to Do This Exercise
Example of Exercise Results

Background: "Get busy living or get busy dying" (Shawshank Redemption): that is what life is about. At every moment, we are choosing either life or death. We choose life when we honor ourselves by making empowering choices, by having life affirming emotions, and by seeing ourselves "positively". When we do not, we are - in essence - choosing death. By our choices in life, we can be our own best friend or worst enemy. It begins inside with the beliefs and thoughts we choose.

Goal: The goal of this exercise is no less than to determine if a "revolution from within" is what is needed. This is achieved by "running the gauntlet" of common experiences and emotions to see how you "measure up" to the challenges life has presented you with. You cannot choose life-love and death-fear at the same time.

To make better choices, you need to know where you are right now. If you are filled with negative thoughts and beliefs, you need to know that so that you can unlearn them. For only when you can think and act from a place of love, can you be at peace with yourself, with others, and with God.

Preparation: All you need is a blank piece of paper, a pen or pencil, and a quiet place and time to do this exercise.

How to Do This Exercise: DO it QUICKLY: Take the FIRST answer you get!

1> Rate yourself as to the "self images" you hold and "emotions" you experience:

Empowering................ Empowering........Disempowering...... Disempowering
Self Images................. Emotions............ Self Images............ Emotions

___ Self Acceptance.... ___ Action.......... ___ Self Abuse............ ___ Anger
___ Self Approval....... ___ Acceptance... ___ Self Conceited...... ___ Blame
___ Self Assurance...... ___ Clarity.......... ___ Self Conscious....... ___ Criticism
___ Self Confidence.... ___ Confidence.... ___ Self Contempt...... ___ Depression
___ Self Control.......... ___ Contented..... ___ Self Criticism........ ___ Despair
___ Self Discipline....... ___ Empathy....... ___ Self Deception...... ___ Dishonesty
___ Self Discovery...... ___ Enthusiasm.... ___ Self Defeating....... ___ Fear
___ Self Examination... ___ Faith............. ___ Self Denial............ ___ Guilty
___ Self Expression..... ___ Gentleness.... ___ Self Destructive.... ___ Hate
___ Self Help.............. ___ Hope............ ___ Self Fearful.......... ___ Inadequacy
___ Self Improvement. ___ Humble......... ___ Self Hatred.......... ___ Jealous
___ Self Love............. ___ Kindness....... ___ Self Humiliation.... ___ Lethargy
___ Self Preservation.. ___ Joy................ ___ Self Inflicted........ ___ Lies
___ Self Protection..... ___ Laughter........ ___ Self Judgment...... ___ Loneliness
___ Self Reliance........ ___ Love............. ___ Self Limiting......... ___ Meanness
___ Self Respect......... ___ Relaxed........ ___ Self Mutilating...... ___ Nervous
___ Self Satisfaction.... ___ Respect........ ___ Self Pity............... ___ Prideful
___ Self Starter........... ___ Responsible.. ___ Self Righteous...... ___ Regret
___ Self Sustaining...... ___ Truth............ ___ Self Sabotaging.... ___ Sadness
___ Self Worth........... ___ Trust............. ___ Self Sacrificing..... ___ Shame
___ TOTAL (+)........ ___ TOTAL (+).. ___ TOTAL (-).......... ___ TOTAL (-)

___ TOTAL (+) Self Image/Emotion... ___ TOTAL (-) Self Image/Emotion

2> Rate yourself as to the "personal statements" that you feel apply to you now:

"I AM" Personal Statements........"I AM NOT" Personal Statements

___ I am a good person.................. ___ I am not but could be a good person.
___ I am a positive person.............. ___ I am not but could be a positive person.
___ I am a loving person................. ___ I am not but could be a loving person.
___ I am a joyful person.................. ___ I am not but could be a joyful person.
___ I am a confident person............ ___ I am not but could be a confident person.
___ I am a trustworthy person......... ___ I am not but could be trustworthy.
___ I am a strong person................. ___ I am not but could be a strong person.

___ TOTAL(+): Personal Attributes ___ TOTAL(-): Personal Attributes

___ I am loved by God..................... ___ I am not loved by God.
___ I am a child of God.................... ___ I am a child of man.
___ I allow God to enter my life........ ___ I do not believe in God.
___ I trust the serenity God provides. ___ I do not believe God can help me.
___ I believe God cares about me..... ___ I do not believe God cares about me.
___ I am not alone: God is with me... ___ I am alone: God is never there for me.

___ TOTAL(+): Relation with God ___ TOTAL(-): Relation with God

___ I am loved by others................... ___ I am not but could be loved by others.
___ I trust people.............................. ___ I do not trust people.
___ I am a friendly person................. ___ Others do not believe that I am friendly.
___ I make friends easily................... ___ I lose friends easily.
___ I establish my boundaries/limits... ___ I let others do what they want to me.
___ I express my feelings to others.... ___ It is hard telling others how I feel.
___ I forgive others who hurt me....... ___ I do not/find it hard to forgive others.
___ I easily give/take with others....... ___ Others take too much from me.
___ I am tactful with others................ ___ Others must "like me or lump" me.
___ TOTAL(+): Relation w/ Others ___ TOTAL(-): Relation w/ Others

___ I respect myself........................... ___ Others are more important than I am.
___ I will be who I am........................ ___ I will be who others want me to be.
___ I affirm my worth/goodness.......... ___ Others affirm my worth/goodness.
___ I acknowledge my needs.............. ___ Others to acknowledge my needs.
___ I forgive myself............................ ___ I do not easily forgive myself.
___ I am tolerant of my mistakes......... ___ I can never forget/forgive my mistakes.
___ I am a friend to myself.................. ___ I do more for others than I do for me.

___ TOTAL(+): Relation with Self ___ TOTAL(-): Relation with Self

___ I love life & feel it is an adventure. ___ I get through life & feel it is a struggle.
___ The challenges of life energize me. ___ The challenges of life wear me down.
___ I am in control of my life............... ___ I am a victim of my life.
___ I am in charge of my life................ ___ Others control my life more than I do.
___ I take full charge of my life today... ___ I may/not be in charge in the future.

___ TOTAL(+): Relation with Life ___ TOTAL(-): Relation with Life

___ I love my body as it is now.......... ___ I do not love (---) about my body.
___ I am comfortable in my body....... ___ I am not comfortable in my body.
___ I treat myself with kindness.......... ___ I do not treat myself with kindness.
___ I enjoy leisure without guilt........... ___ I must always be doing something.
___ I balance work and play easily..... ___ I use play to escape work, vice versa.
___ I touch others with gentleness....... ___ I am not always gentle with others.

___ TOTAL(+): Physical Landscape ___ TOTAL(-): Physical Landscape

___ I love myself the way I am now....... ___ I do not love (---) about myself.
___ I feel good about myself.................. ___ I do not feel good about myself.
___ I feel complete today...................... ___ I feel I should have done more today.
___ I feel happy and contented.............. ___ I feel OK but not truly happy.
___ I feel surrounded by love................ ___ I do not feel surrounded by love.
___ I am able to give and receive love... ___ I find it difficult to express love.
___ I am emotionally calm and relaxed... ___ My emotions are always stirred up.
___ I am emotionally supported............. ___ My emotions work against me.
___ I can trust all of my emotions........... ___ I do not trust ALL of my emotions.

___ TOTAL(+): Emotion Landscape ___ TOTAL(-): Emotional Landscape

___ I like myself the way I am now........ ___ I do not like (---) about myself.
___ I am at peace with myself................ ___ I should be more/do more.
___ I am calm and tranquil..................... ___ My mind is always racing.
___ I have great potential....................... ___ I feel I have used all my potential.
___ I appreciate my mental abilities........ ___ My mind works against me.
___ I can trust all of my thoughts............ ___ I do not trust ALL of my thoughts.

___ TOTAL(+): Mental Landscape ___ TOTAL(-): Mental Landscape

___ I make wise choices....................... ___ I could have made better choices.
___ I rejoice in my abilities.................... ___ I rejoice in my possessions.
___ I can handle criticism with ease....... ___ Criticism makes me angry/withdrawn.
___ I can handle conflict with ease......... ___ I avoid conflict at all costs.
___ I face my fears confidently.............. ___ I avoid my fears at all costs.
___ I work to overcome my fears.......... ___ I ignore fear rather than work on it.

___ TOTAL(+): "Self Mastery" ___ TOTAL(-): "Self Mastery"

___ I have many talents......................... ___ I have some but not many talents.
___ I am a resourceful person............... ___ I get by when I have to.
___ I am a capable person.................... ___ I do most things satisfactorily.
___ I am a responsible person............... ___ Others should not rely on me much.
___ I am an independent person............ ___ I am not self supporting.
___ I make decisions confidently........... ___ I do not always trust my decisions.

___ TOTAL(+): "Life Mastery" ___ TOTAL(-): "Life Mastery"

___ I have a great future....................... ___ Nothing much will change for me.
___ I let serenity flow into my life.......... ___ I am waiting for problems to happen.
___ I look forward to each new day..... ___ Today will be like yesterday.
___ I feel great hope............................ ___ I feel things will remain the same.
___ I am optimistic and alert................. ___ I am pessimistic and wary.
___ I must control myself...................... ___ I must control others.
___ I can make things happen............... ___ I just let things happen.
___ I meet change without fear.............. ___ I avoid change - I fear change.

___ TOTAL(+): Creating Future ___ TOTAL(-): Creating Future

3> Calculate the TOTAL Score by filling in your results below.

___ TOTAL(+): Images/Emotions ....___ TOTAL(-): Self Images/Emotions
___ TOTAL(+): Personal Attributes. ___ TOTAL(-): Personal Attributes
___ TOTAL(+): Relation with God... ___ TOTAL(-): Relation with God
___ TOTAL(+): Relation w/ Others.. ___ TOTAL(-): Relation w/ Others
___ TOTAL(+): Relation with Self.... ___ TOTAL(-): Relation with Self
___ TOTAL(+): Relation with Life.... ___ TOTAL(-): Relation with Life
___ TOTAL(+): Physical Landscape. ___ TOTAL(-): Physical Landscape
___ TOTAL(+): Emotion Landscape. ___ TOTAL(-): Emotion Landscape
___ TOTAL(+): Mental Landscape... ___ TOTAL(-): Mental Landscape
___ TOTAL(+): Self Mastery............ ___ TOTAL(-): Self Mastery
___ TOTAL(+): Life Mastery............ ___ TOTAL(-): Life Mastery
___ TOTAL(+): Creating the Future. ___ TOTAL(-): Creating the Future
___ TOTAL(+): All Categories.......... ___ TOTAL(-): All Categories
___ Weighted: TOTAL(+) times 1..... ___ Weighted: TOTAL(-) times 2

___ GRAND TOTAL = Weighted TOTAL(+) - Weighted TOTAL(-)

Note: the "negative" statements are counted as TWO TIMES the value of the "positive" statements.

That is because it takes twice as much "positive" thinking to overcome the "negative" thoughts. The good news is that once the "negative" internal weights are gone, there is no limit to how your positive thinking will be able to transform your life.

4> Compare your GRAND TOTAL score to the ranges below to see where you ended up after "running the gauntlet" of your beliefs. The goal of doing this exercise quickly was to access the unconscious part of your mind that always tells you the truth about yourself. Remember: that for things to change, you must change. To effect lasting change, you must change your beliefs for they create your reality.

For Scores 819 to 318: Empowerment Range: You are the type that says "life is fabulous". You only have teeny, tiny, minor "blemishes" of negativity to clear away to make your wonderful life even more magnificent.

For Scores 317 to 0: Achievement Range: You are the type that says "life is good". It is good but it could be better because you have noticeable "blotches" of negativity you need to eliminate. You will be able to tell what they are by looking at your results. You have enough self confidence to weed them out on your own.

For Scores 0 to -585: Existence Range: You are the type that says "life is OK". It is only adequate because your negative beliefs, thoughts, and emotions have made it that way. You have several areas where negativity has taken firm root. You probably need some help from counselors to overcome these blocks.

For Scores -586 to -1287: Struggle Range: You are the type that says "life is hard". It is hard because your negative thoughts have manifested struggle for you everywhere in your life. You definitely need help from counselors.

For Scores -1288 to -1989: Disempowerment Range: You are the type that says "life is terrible". You are a virtual prisoner of your negative beliefs. For you "not feeling bad" would be a step up. You absolutely need to stop everything you are doing right now, pick up the phone, and get some counseling help!!!

Example: "It is your thinking that will change your life. Feelings come from thoughts. Start today to change your negative beliefs. You deserve it. Be good to yourself. Start being your best friend and stop being your worst enemy. Remember: Love makes all things new and the truth will set you free".
   - Mark Bedillion

Credits: adapted from "Alcoholics Anonymous: 12 Step Program" - www.12steps.org