Growing up Scandinavian, I know all too well the "suck-it-up-tears-will-only-freeze-on-your-face" syndrome. In that belief system, tears are barely tolerated in children and are taboo for adults. So for those adults who refuse to cry because their healers advise against it or because they feel it is inappropriate... I would ask them to view crying in light of their experience with children.

When children get hurt and are in real pain, parents can always tell that from the sound of their voice and how they act, etc. Children cry to help release their pain and stop when it subsides. Parents can also tell when their children are crying for effect and really do not "mean it". These kind of crocodile tears are just a tactical move to get you as parent to do or not do something. The first kind of crying alerts you as a parent to real problems, the second to imaginary ones.

Those adults that indulge in crying jags because they like to live on the choppy seas of their emotions should not be indulged... they do attract their own pain and get more of it because they are into "sturm and drang". So they get what they expect for their imaginary tears.

Yet, for those adults who need to release their emotions, tears are often the most appropriate vehicle for the situation. When a healer, a family member, a friend, or whoever tries to stop "real tears", they are short circuiting the healing process. At best this is irresponsible, at worst, it is cruel and destructive.

Would you tell your child who got hit in the knee with the baseball bat not to cry because they are only going to attract more tears? No, in fact, you would chew out a coach who dared to tell your child that and maybe get him disciplined by the school. Are adults less worthy of releasing their emotions than children when they are in pain? No. Should we be telling those who lose loved ones not to cry because they will only get more tears? Of course not.

Crying is a part of the healing process. When a healer tells a patient not to cry when they need to, it instantly disconnects them from their reality of their emotions. Disconnecting people from the truth of their reality is ALWAYS the first part of the torture process. As in "don't notice Daddy passed out on the floor drunk, it's OK, just walk past him and don't slip on the vomit!" Just ask any adult child of alcoholics how much damage this causes them throughout their life.

The bottom line is that "the more we can raise our own level of self-esteem and learn to love and accept ourselves unconditionally, the less likely we are to give away our power." The key to keeping our power is to stay connected to our truth.

The underlying cause of poor self esteem is that we are told that we are junk, worthless, etc. when the truth is that we are all children of God. Often, the road to self esteem opens up for us when we give ourselves the permission to cry that others have so long denied us. Unreleased tears kill. So it's your life, and you can cry if you want to... especially if you want to save your life! End of sermon!

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