Exercise: Inner Child Workshop- Healing Core Issues
Summary: Reclaiming Your Divine Right to Love and Be Loved
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Background: Love is the most powerful force in the universe. It is the universal solvent which cuts through all hate, all fears, all obstacles, all difficulties. Where love energy is not present in your life, there will you tend to experience the same problems over and over again. These problems will not go away until what is broken is made whole, until what is hurt is healed, until what is feared is loved.
Often these problems lie at the core of our being. At this core is our "inner child" which will throw the most mature adult in chaos if it is not recognized, nurtured, and loved. The first step is to often recognize that your "inner child" is even there.
Goal: Love is the only medicine that can cure your deeply wounded inner child. Advanced souls often choose to come into a family with unloving or abusive parents so that they can learn to better love themselves. In such situations, such souls are literally forced to learn the hardest lesson of all: that ultimately one must learn to love themselves before they can truly love another.
This inner child healing helps you to become the loving parent to yourself that your biological parents never were. By loving the child inside, you help the adult outside to reclaim your Divine Right to love and be loved as God intended you to be.
1> Do this exercise at night after you have taken a bath but before you have gone to bed. It is best you do it when you will be able to sleep the next day.
2> When this exercise is complete, drink a full glass of water and then immediately cleanse yourself. Good cleansing will vary depending on if you are an:
sweating in a sauna or steam room is good cleansing.
3> Being comfortable is the key. You need to wear comfortable, loose fitting clothing. You will also need to do this in a room that has a mirror. Bathrooms work well for this because:
4> Do this exercise in a peaceful place where you will be completely quiet and undisturbed for the entire session. This session should last for as long as your inner child needs. Since children (even inner ones) have short attention spans, this exercise usually takes less than 30 minutes.
5> ALWAYS ACT with absolute conviction that what you are imagining is REAL. To your inner child, there is NO difference between what is real and what is imagined. This is why a healing IMAGINED can have a REAL result (like the cancer patients who healed themselves by imagining away their disease).
6> Be patient with yourself in the time to come. Healing your inner child can be quite disorienting until the changes are fully integrated. It is VERY powerful and it takes time for the work that you have done on the inner bodies to be reflected in your outer body ("as above, so below"). If you are doing this process to effect a change, then you should be fully prepared to expect a change. You know the old saying: "Be careful what you wish for, you might get it!"
1> Take some deep, refreshing breaths until you are totally comfortable and relaxed in whatever position you have chosen before the mirror (it should take you no more than 3 minutes to get comfortable).
2> Look at yourself in the mirror and think back to when you were a child (in this lifetime). Give your Inner Child permission to bring the most painful incident that you endured as a child to the forefront of your memory. If you are not getting anything specific, then just say to your Inner Child:
3> Once the hurt has been identified (either a specific painful incident or general feelings of unhappiness), look at yourself in the mirror again. This time you must stare deeply into your own eyes. Whatever happens, you cannot look away. You must continue to stare deeply into your own eyes.
4> Say out loud what this hurt is. Repeat it again and again until you feel your inner child's hurt and fear deeply in your heart, your stomach, and in every cell.
Example: "My father abandoned me at the mall when I was six and I thought I was going to die. Why didn't he love me enough to look after me?"
5> Wait until you have fully connected with the inner child's truth.
Example: it is very likely that the child's life was not in danger during the time they were "lost". That does not matter. What does is your willingness to believe that what the inner child believes is true. Here the child was abandoned by its' parent. So it is important that you not abandon the inner child now. On the inside, this pain from childhood is as immediate as if it happened yesterday.
6> Take a moment to really look at the inner child at their worst moment of pain. Look closely at the child's sad face, hear its' unhappy voice, and feel their pain and fear. Let the child talk until you hear them admit their hurtful truth. This is the pain buried deep inside that must be released.
Example: "If my father really loved me, then he would not have left me at the mall. I must not be good enough for my father to love me." The true hurt is the child's feeling of being unlovable due to their rejection by their parent.
7> See yourself as the adult you are now and go to your inner child (note: it is important that you visualize you as the child and you as the adult separately). You the adult must smile and be friendly because you want you as the inner child to become comfortable enough to speak with you.
Example: Tell your inner child why you have come to see them as in "I am your guardian angel and I have come to help you out" or "I am a friend of your mother's, can I help you?" or "I am a police officer and I am here to help".
8> At first, sympathize with the child and listen to what it says - no matter how illogical it may seem to you. You must validate the inner child's truth. At all times, you must remember to treat the inner child as a child and to stay in control of the session because you are the responsible adult.
Example: In this case, the fault was clearly with the father - who should have been responsible - and not the child - who needed to be taken care of. You would say "you must have felt really scared when you were left all alone".
9> Ask the inner child why they feel as they do. Gently and patiently but firmly, you must press the inner child until they give you the truth. Do not push: the child will tell you what you need to know.
Example: In this case, ask the child, "Why do you think this happened to you?" Or "Why do you think that you are not good enough for your father to love you?"
10> Respect the inner child by treating their concerns as real and valid. Reassure the inner child and show them your love. Make sure that this reassurance is given at the level of the child's understanding. Treat your inner child as a child.
Example: In this case, you would say "You were right to feel afraid when your father left you alone at the mall". Then say "You did not do anything wrong. You are special. I love you". You would NOT say "Your father is cold and unloving by nature so it's nothing personal, you understand". A child could not understand an attack on their parent because of the universal need of children to believe that their parents are "perfect" (which is what creates this problem to begin with).
11> Your showing the child love in the same situation where they got none from their parent should help the inner child to release their (your) torment. The goal is to get them to cry and grieve their pain. Envision yourself comforting the inner child as they need it and as they most would like to receive it.
Example: In this case, you would show your inner child love by hugging them, kissing them, holding them, stroking their hair, etc. You will know what is best based on what you like. Remember that you and your inner child are one in the same. For the moment, you are split into two parts so that the "knowing" adult part of you can soothe and heal the "feeling" child part of you that carries old wounds and pain around. This pain never goes away until it is acknowledged and healed.
12> Transform the inner child's situation in the past to release the child from its' disempowering belief about itself. Recreate the past using some means that the child can believe in. Even though there is an aspect of fantasy in this process, you must still make it as believable and realistic as possible to the inner child.
Example: In this case, you as the guardian angel or family friend make a telephone call to the child's mother or elder brother to come and pick the child up at the mall. In essence, you have put the child back into a time travel machine to "put right what once went wrong". Whatever you do here, do not make the father act in an uncharacteristic way by not leaving the child at mall in the first place.
13> Show your inner child your adult's eye view of the truth. Give the inner child a reason to harmonize with you as the adult and to become secure about the now successful resolution to the original painful event.
Example: In this case, convince the child that the father was wrong to have left it at the mall. Tell the child that "I am your guardian angel here to help you be happy! I would never leave you alone in an unsafe place. I will always be here to love and protect you whenever you need me. You are always safe and protected."
14> Convince the inner child to adopt a more empowering way of truth. Convince the inner child to adopt a more empowering way of living. Convince the inner child to adopt a more empowering way of being.
Example: In this case, tell the inner child "You will always be safe and loved: a good future will happen for you!". Reassure the child that "Help is always close by. Just call on me, your guardian angel (or family friend), and I will always be there for you". Say "God loves you: He is always with you and so am I". Take the child home and have it's mother (or another person the child feels close to) embrace it until the child feels safe again. Then smile and walk away. Your job is done.
Example: The examples are included in "How to Do this Exercise". If you have done a good job of really addressing the core issue and resolving it in a more harmonious manner, then you should feel instant peace after this exercise is concluded. If not, then you need to repeat it as often as necessary until you do.
It is your Divine right to love and be loved. Never give up until you can feel that this is true. God loves you and you exist because of that love. If you remember nothing else from this exercise or this website, remember that!
Related: For the exercise regarding adulthood traumas, click here.
Credits: adapted from an exercise developed by Ellen Mogensen and Sandra Skelly
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Past & Now Forward Holistic Counseling,