Emotions Closely Related to Vanity: Pride, Shame, Loneliness, Procrastination
Qualities Need to Resolve Vanity: Love, Humility, Self Esteem, Inner Peace
Energetic Sources: Mental (Thought) Body, Throat Chakra

What is Vanity Trying to Tell You (It's Spiritual Purpose)? The spiritual purpose of Vanity is to balance the two tracks along with we live out our many lives as Soul in the universe.

The first track is our individual journey as Soul through the universe (karma) so we can become fully Self Realized.

The second track is our continuous connection to the God Source (known as our Higher Self) and the collective consciousness so we can become fully God Realized.

How NOT to Respond to Vanity: The most important thing in responding to vanity is to remember that it is a signal, like pain in your physical body, that is trying to tell you are out of balance. The worst thing you can do is to move from the center and seek either of the extremes of vanity: pride or meekness.

In narcissistic vanity ("how truly great I art"), the will and the conscience are imbalanced in the direction of a person believing that they are the universe instead of just having a place in it. Pride is the vanity imbalance that results when the needs of the individual are always put ahead of the needs of the collective universe.

In masochistic vanity ("what a miserable bag of dung I am"), the will and the conscience are imbalanced in the direction of a person falsely believing they have no place in the universe. Meekness is the vanity imbalance that results when the needs of the collective universe are always put ahead of the needs of the individual.

How TO Respond to Vanity - The Vanity Cure: "All life embodies the yin (meekness) and embraces the yang (pride) through their union achieving harmony." For pride teaches us how to be strong and meekness teaches us how to be compassionate and by tempering our power with love we grow to be fully realized beings. Some life experiences will tear down our pride while others will puff up our meekness so we can become - in the end - true humility.

Here are some common "vanity traps" and how best to cure the related imbalances: 1> Cures for Narcissistic Vanity, 2> Cures for Masochistic Vanity, as well as how to 3> Achieve Balanced Humility.

Vanity Cure Part 1: Curing Narcissistic Vanity include the following:

* Evaluation - Active Listening: Since the only opinion that the narcissist values is their own, they rarely listen to - let alone consider - the opinions of others. Yet if the narcissist is honest with themselves, they will have noticed recurring patterns in the feedback that others give them about their behavior. The best and quickest way for the narcissist to start correcting their behavior is to actively listen to others.

Active listening is more than "hearing" what the other person has to say. It is asking questions about what the person has to say in a sincere effort to discern precisely how their narcissistic actions are so hurtful to others. As the saying goes: "Would to God the gift He gives us, to see ourselves as others see us". For if the narcissist could do so, they would see how destructive their behavior is - not just to others - but to themselves karmically as they reincarnate over many lifetimes.

* Evaluation - Implementing Feedback: Seeking and listening to feedback will do the narcissist no good unless they decide to act on it and change their behavior "for the better". This is where the real problem lies for the narcissist. For making a change (whether great or small) implies that the narcissist has been two things they "cannot stand": imperfect (something is actually wrong with "them") and at fault ("they" actually were wrong, weak, or inferior somehow).

Worse, implementing feedback involves personal transformation which is often perceived as a "triple threat". First, change means the narcissist must "compromise" their "unique and special" identity which has been created as a carefully cultivated defense against the world. Second, they will feel that by making changes they have become "subservient" to "lesser beings". Third, change means they will have to face and heal the pain which caused them to adopt a narcissist defense in the first place.

* Evaluation - Reaching Back: Narcissists always leave a long trail of dead relationships - whether it be with family, friends, spouses, or coworkers - in their wake. For people who cannot meet the never ending demands of the narcissist for attention, validation, and support either leave in disgust or are banished from their universe by the narcissist. Often the best chance that the narcissist has to improve is to "reach back" to those who they used to know and ask for help.

Those who the narcissist have "wronged" by past behavior will be delighted to share their opinions and - sometimes - will even be willing to help them in their recovery. And even if reaching back does not achieve the desired results, it will impress the Lords of Karma with the fact that the narcissist has tried to change and grow beyond the self defeating behaviors that no longer serve them.

* Evaluation - Valuing Others: Narcissism can only be cured when the narcissist learns to value and respect others in the same way that they value themselves. To begin this process, the narcissist needs to take an inventory of all the people in their life and decide who on this list are the most essential to their happiness.

For each of these essential people, the narcissist must list 33 things about the other person which they genuinely admire. This list cannot include items that relate to the narcissist as in how this person "helped them" or what this person "gave to them" or how this person "flatters them" or why this person "is like them", etc. Seeing the value in others is the truest sign that the narcissist is beginning to see past their own needs, wants, and desires and is the only true cure for narcissistic vanity.

Vanity Cure Part 2: Curing Masochistic Vanity include the following:

* Appreciation - Self Esteem Tape: Masochism should be defined as any instance where you are unable to honor or value yourself and, by failing to do so, you are hurt - physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. The traditional term - "lack of self esteem" - is just too mild to really capture the harm that having no sense of self worth can do to a person. As the saying goes, "If I am not for myself, who will be for me?" Often the answer is "no one".

And yet, if you do have others in your life who are "for you", then one of the most powerful ways they can show you this is by participating in creating a "Self Esteem" Tape for you. Have your "champions" record - without you being present - a short message about what they like best about you. The only rule is that their message must be positive and uplifting. If there is even the slightest thing on the tape that is negative or uncomplimentary about you, edit it out. Play that tape over and over again until you too can believe in all the wonderful things others already see in you.

* Appreciation - Positive Self Inventory: So often masochists suffer from the "Swiss Cheese" Syndrome. This is where compliments and positives messages fly through the "holes" in our swiss cheesed memory and are "lost and gone forever". While criticisms and negative message slam against the sides of the swiss cheese and stay embedded in our memory forever.

The "Positive Self Inventory" is designed to reverse this process. To do it, you simply fill in the blanks of the following incomplete sentences by giving only positive answers about yourself.

As in "I like myself because ___."
And "The thing I do best is ___."
And "My best quality is ___."
And "My special talent is ___."
And "I feel proud when I ___."
And "I feel powerful when ___."
And "The most important thing to know about me is ___."
And "What makes me unique is ___."
And "The thing I like best about myself is ___."
And "God loves me because ___."
And "I love myself because ___."
And "If I was introduced to someone new, the first great thing they would notice about me is ___."

Vanity Cure Part 3: Achieving Balanced Humility include the following:

* Centering - Physically: Balanced humility is the state where we value ourselves knowing that we are divine creations but we know that our purpose is to serve all life with love. An essential component of valuing ourselves is honoring the body and mind that is our vehicle in this life. The human body was made to flow (receive and give) love unconditionally (in fact, the human body suffers greatly without love).

Touch is an essential part of flowing love to ourselves and others and centering ourselves in balanced humility. When we are babies we instinctively know this truth and demand to be touched by a variety of other people everyday. Touch connects us as babies to life. It is touch that we are really craving from our romantic partners. It is this touch which sustains our bodies in vibrant health. The Reiki Heart Anchor is how we touch our hearts to center ourselves in love. It connects us the essential truth of our existence: "we receive love, we give love, we are love."

* Centering - Mentally: At every moment, we are choosing either life or death. We choose life when we honor ourselves by making empowering choices, by having life affirming emotions, and by seeing ourselves "positively". When we do not, we are choosing death. By our choices in life, we can be our own best friend or worst enemy. It begins inside with the beliefs and thoughts we choose.

Our beliefs and thoughts manifest as self talk - the internal dialogue we have running in our minds - which will either empower us to master life or limit us to being life's slave. Running the Gauntlet will show us whether or not our beliefs and thoughts are empowering us into achieving a state of balanced humility.

* Centering - Emotionally: Love is the most powerful force in the universe. It is the magic universal solvent which cuts through all hate, all fears, all problems, all obstacles, all difficulties. The basis for all love is love of self. As you love yourself more, you love others more. As you love others more, you love yourself more.

Love is the only things that is boundless and timeless - it is the beginning and the ending, the alpha and the omerga, of the universe. For any question, love is the answer - it is living Loving Kindness that brings us into balanced humility.

* Centering - Spiritually: Dare to live your life holistically. In the words of "Hua Hu Ch'ing" (Lao Tse), "join your body, mind, and spirit in all you do. Make choices accord with nature. Rely on yourself. Allow your work and your recreation to be one and the same. Do exercise that develops your whole being. Listen to music that bridges your body, mind, and spirit. Serve others while cultivating yourself."

"Understand that true growth comes from meeting and solving the problems of life in a way that is harmonizing to yourself and others. If you can follow these simple old ways, you will be renewed." Follow these simple old ways and you will enter into a state of balanced humility with ease.

Before using any of these techniques, click here for a "Word of Caution"

Credits: adapted from channeled information.