Rules #43: Learning to Love Others: "For Love & Love Alone"
"To others we are not ourselves but a performer in their lives cast for a part we do not even know that we are playing." Elizabeth Bibesco (Haven)
The Role of a Lifetime
Whether we realize it or not, the role that we play in the lives of others - those we know and those who know of us - is that of karmic instructor. It is the same role that others we know play in our lives. Each of us is constantly teaching all others around us - by our words and actions - about different ways of being. From these examples, each decides what to do and how to be as we make our own journey through the universe.
Love One Another as God Loves You
So as Thomas Carlyle said
"everyone is my superior in that I may learn
Often others teaching us what NOT to do/be is
just as valuable as their teaching us what to do/be. Being open to
learning from others is the first step on the long journey through
the universe that we all undertake to unfold into greater levels of
love, joy, and awareness. It is easy to SAY that we love others
So how does one begin to love others?… by doing the following:
LOVING OTHERS IS ACTING AS IF THEY ARE WORTHY
"For one human being to love another… that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation." (Rainer Maria Rilke)
Everyone exists because God loves them and
with that love all things are possible. Everyone is perfect in God's
eyes and is loved more than they will ever know. We are our own worst
enemy when we think, act, and treat others as anything other than
Divine Beings. When we think
"I hate them"
"They do not deserve to live"
"Too bad they
are (fill in the blank)… otherwise we could be friends"
"If only they were more like me"
"If only they believed like me",
we are saying the God made a mistake when "they" were created.
2> LOVING OTHERS IS RESPECTING THEIR BODIES
"We too often love things and use people when we should be using things and loving people." (Rueul Howe)
The primary means for showing love to others
is respecting the body that God gave them. To respect the bodies of
others requires that you do it no harm. Most would agree that doing
obvious things like helping others to breathe, eat, drink, sleep, get
exercise, receive proper clothes and shelter - especially where they
have difficulty in doing this for themselves - shows other people's
LOVING OTHERS IS RESPECTING THEIR MINDS
"Love is a good teacher, it teaches in no time at all." (Pierre Corneille)
Mental "woundology" is greatest damage that
we routinely do to one another. We think that by sharing our sorrows
that we are supporting others. The reality is that continually sharing
heartache - especially once the painful crisis has passed - only serves
to keep our wounds and theirs alive. For what we lavish our attention
on is what we manifest into our reality. Everyone has made their share
of mistakes… we are meant to learn from them and move on.
LOVING OTHERS IS RESPECTING THEIR EMOTIONS
"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." (Robert Frost)
Emotional "sandbagging" is another way we
often disrespect others. We encourage sandbagging when we recommend
"ego defenses" which have us inappropriately handling our emotions.
Help others to deal with the emotions head on… for that is the truest
love and the highest form of respect. "Ego defenses" include:
LOVING OTHERS IS RESPECTING THEIR SPIRITUAL
"Love is the only satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." (Erich Fromm)
Religious beliefs are the most sacred part
of any individual. In many different past lifetimes, I have been a
Jewish rabbi, a Roman Catholic priest, a Russian and Greek Orthodox
priest, a Protestant minister, a Buddhist monk, a Hindu cleric, a
follower of Confucius, Lao Tse, Islam, Sihkism, Shinto, and numberless
other religious, spiritual, and philosophical paths. I have translated
the best of these, click here) into
many languages over the course of several lives.
LOVING OTHERS IS ACCEPTING THEM AS THEY ARE
"We love the things we love in spite of what they are." (Louis Untermeyer)
No one is perfect, not me, not you, not
anyone else. No matter what you dislike about others, it is of vital
importance that you value others - just as they are right now. For
by doing so, that is how we create peace within our own hearts. The
fact is that we all are - from the saints to the sinners - a "work
in progress": changing every day and evolving into becoming who we
LOVING OTHERS IS SHOWING THEM KINDNESS
"All disease is related to a lack of love… all healing to giving & receiving unconditional love." (Bernie Siegel)
Love is the most powerful force in the
universe. It is the universal solvent which cuts through all hate,
all fears, all obstacles, all difficulties. Where difficult,
problematic relationships exist, it is due to the absence of love
energy between us and others. By always holding thoughts of
toward others in your heart, you rebuild the
love energy bridges between you and other(s).
LOVING OTHERS IS SHOWING THEM COMPASSION
"Love is the strongest force the world possesses, and yet it is the humblest imaginable." (Mohandas Gandhi)
Although it may be hard to believe, the truth
is that everyone does the best they can with what they have. For
everyone is just living out what they have learned in this or previous
lives. Compassion comes when you realize that those who hate and hurt
others are just lashing out against times when they were hated and
hurt themselves. For it is then that you can see that "it is the pain
talking" and not the person.
LOVING OTHERS IS SHOWING THEM RESPECT
"Love is the extremely difficult realization that something other than oneself is real." (Iris Murdoch)
Everyone is a spark of the Divine and brings
a unique note to the
we are all singing (notice that the word
uni-verse means "one song"). This means that everyone has something
unique and valuable to contribute. Even though
you may not understand their contribution or believe it is valuable,
know that it is.
LOVING OTHERS IS ACTING TO FREE THEM
"Love is like water in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays, clutch it and it darts away." (Dorothy Parker)
One of the highest forms of unconditional
life is to prepare your loved ones to live without you. For only when
those you love are completely self reliant are they totally free,
safe, and protected for the rest of their lives
more on what it means to be self reliant, click here).
Even if that freedom means that they walk away from you forever, you
have given them gifts that will help them wherever they go.
LOVING OTHERS IS SHOWING THEM FORGIVENESS
"Love means never having to say that you are sorry." (Erich Segal)
What keeps us firmly stuck to our negative
baggage is the fact that we cannot forgive others for somehow failing
us. Sincere, heartfelt forgiveness is the solvent that unsticks our
fingers from this baggage, allowing us to drop it. Dropping it is the
best thing that we can do for ourselves and others.
not mean condoning what happened or just forgetting about it or not
learning from it. All of those are valuable lessons that we spent
LOVING OTHERS IS ALLOWING THEM TO BE HAPPY
"Life is short and we never have enough time for gladdening others' hearts. Be swift to love!" (Henri Amiel)
If there is one key to showing unconditional
love to others, it is this. As William Penn said,
"any good that I can do, or any kindness that
I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer
or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again."
Making people happy, helping them to be happy,
and allowing them to be happy are all ways of showing others
Credits: from channeled information.
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Past & Now Forward Holistic Counseling,