Rules #42: Self Love: "The Greatest Love of All" "To put the world in order, we must put the nation in order. To put the nation in order, we must put the family in order. To put the family in order, we must nurture our personal life. To cultivate our personal life, we must first set our hearts and minds right… Plant a thought, reap an act. Plant an act, reap a habit. Plant a habit, reap a character. Plant a character, reap a destiny." (Confucius) "What is it that makes you worthy to be loved?" was the question posed
by a facilitator at one workshop that changed my life. One by one, he asked
each of the participants this question in turn. They answered that to be worthy of love
one had either TO DO or TO BE something.
The True Root of All Evil:
Lack of Love for Yourself Louise Hay said it best: "When someone comes to me with a problem, I don't
care what it is: poor health, lack of money, unfulfilling relationships,
or self esteem issues... there is only one thing that I ever work on, and
that is LOVING THE SELF. I find that when we really love, accept and
approve of ourselves exactly as we are, then everything in life works."
And so it does... 1> SELF LOVE IS DEFENDING YOUR WORTHINESS Being true to yourself is remembering one thing: you exist because God
loves you… and with that love all things are possible. Before you read
another word, raise of a shield of pure and unconditional love all around you:
body, mind, emotions, and spirit. That's better… Filling yourself with love
is the first step is driving out the poison of hate that constantly assaults
us all. 2> SELF LOVE IS NURTURING YOUR BODY The primary means for showing love to yourself is nurturing the body
that God gave you. Like it or not, your body is your
vehicle for navigating your way through life. For optimum performance
and vitality, you should give it regular maintenance. This
means doing things like: constantly sustaining it with vital life
force by breathing properly, by
drinking plenty of water, by
feeding it good food, by
getting enough rest and exercise, by
clothing and sheltering it properly, and by nurturing it with
loving touch. It means taking active
steps to protect it from harm. It also means acknowledging it when it has
"gone the extra mile" so that you could do whatever it was you wanted to do.
Treat your body like a beloved pet by patting it, saying "I love you", and
giving it special treats… you will be amazed by the results!! 3> SELF LOVE IS CULTIVATING YOUR MIND You have made mistakes… we all have. Louise Hay said it best: "Self
hatred is really only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for
having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts. Acknowledge that you
created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways
to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns."
If you are not cultivating your mind to manifest your
joyful desires then it will create your life based on your worries. Choose
love over fear and your life will improve. This means doing basic things
like: living life holistically,
managing stress, and using nature's way
(aromas,
oils, and
herbals) to help your mind
retain/regain the composure needed to make good decisions. 4> SELF LOVE IS LISTENING TO YOUR EMOTIONS The word "emotion" means "energy in motion" as sent from your
Higher Self to propel you along your path in life.
Emotions are also sent by your ego ("lower self") to keep you safe and protected. Life often becomes
a conflict between these two conflicting sources of emotion: the positive/loving
(Higher Self) that prompts you to go for your future dreams and the negative/fearful
(ego) which begs you to stay with your current reality. Stop living on the
choppy seas of your emotions and sail your boat into calm waters. You do
not have to be a slave to your lusts,
a captive to your anger, a pawn of your
greed, a victim of your
vanity, or a prisoner of your
attachments. Just listen
to emotions and then decide what to do about them. 5> SELF LOVE IS HONORING YOUR SPIRIT As essential component of honoring your spirit is coming into agreement
to see yourself for who you really are,
to listen to that truth, and to
live it in your daily life. For you are a not a human being come to Earth
to have a spiritual experience, you are spiritual being having a
human experience. You are not physical matter
you are a complex energy field which
binds you together past, present, and future. You are not your five senses
- sight, hearing, taste, touch, and smell - but you can become caught in
their traps, as in unhealthy addictions
and misuse of sex. You are Soul: doing
your best in your journey through the worlds of karma and
reincarnation.. 6> SELF LOVE IS ACCEPTING YOURSELF/OTHERS AS IS No one is perfect, not me and not you. No matter what you want to
change about yourself, it is of vital importance that you value yourself -
just as you are right now. Self acceptance is not getting back what you
thought that you had yesterday or achieving what you think you are wishing
for tomorrow, it means loving the self right now today. We are all a
"work in progress":
changing every day and evolving into becoming who we already
are. As Louise Hay advises us: "Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself.
Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself
as you would someone you really loved." Amen! 7> SELF LOVE IS SHOWING YOURSELF/OTHERS KINDNESS Many people lead lives of "quiet desperation": drowning in negativity,
consumed by worry, and waiting for disaster to strike. They do so not
realizing that negativity breeds problems, worry causes undesired results,
and disaster is experienced less often than it is imagined. Whenever you
feel this way, you are unable to treat others or yourself with kindness.
That is the time to STOP! and make a conscious effort to be kind to yourself
and others. Do this by replacing negativity with a positive outlook, worry
with confidence that "all is well", and anticipation of disaster with faith
in the future. You CAN do this because you are the creator of your own
universe. Regardless of what happens in the outside world, fill your inside
world with peace, love, and joy. Affirm: "All is
well in my universe, I am safe and protected at all times. Out of every
situation, only good will come to me". 8> SELF LOVE IS SHOWING YOURSELF/OTHERS COMPASSION Although it may be hard to believe, the truth is that everyone does
the best they can with what they have. For everyone, including you, is
just living out what they have learned in this or previous lives. Compassion
comes when you realize that those who hate and hurt others are just lashing
out against times when they were hated and hurt themselves. For it is then
that you can see that "it is the pain talking" and not the person. Given
that you can understand that there are no truly bad people - only people
who say and do bad things - you can be compassionate towards every person
in every situation. Pouring the oil of compassion, tolerance, & understanding
on the troubled waters of daily life is the very essence of unconditional
self love. 9> SELF LOVE IS SHOWING YOURSELF/OTHERS RESPECT Everyone is a spark of the Divine and brings a unique note to the
universal song we are all singing (notice that the word uni-verse means
"one song"). This means that everyone has something valuable to contribute:
in the words of Thomas Carlyle: "everyone is my superior in that I may
learn from them". Unfortunately, the world is all too ready to teach us
that others should be discounted because they differ from us in some way
(gender, race, nationality, religion, etc) when we are all the same and
equal as Soul. That is why the word
"Namaste" is such a powerful greeting
because it conveys respect in a very pure way. For when we respect ourselves
and others, we are acting from one of the deepest places of unconditional love. 10> SELF LOVE IS ACTING TO FREE YOURSELF/OTHERS It is always wise to remember that "all conditions are temporary".
The world was here before you came and will go on after you are gone.
The position you hold to today relative to others in your life now may
be reversed tomorrow or in a future life. The world exists to be a stage
for karma and each one must play their role as they see fit. Those who
try to lift the world upon their shoulders to "make it better" for loved
ones will usually find themselves quickly buried under it's weight. You
get "out from under" when you realize that the only person you can change
is yourself. Allowing others to have their lessons helps them learn the
only way they can - by experience - and it frees you. Love yourself
by laying down the world right now. 11> SELF LOVE IS SHOWING YOURSELF/OTHERS FORGIVENESS In Louise Hay's words, "Let the past go. You did the best you could
at the time with the understanding, awareness and knowledge that you had.
Now you are growing and changing and you will live differently."
Forgiveness does not mean condoning what happened or just forgetting about
it or not learning from it. All of those are valuable lessons that you
spent emotion learning. What forgiveness means is releasing
the anger and other emotions that keep you stuck in unforgiveness of yourself
or others. Holding onto these toxic feelings will have no effect on the
other person and will not alter what you did or did not do. Holding onto
unforgiveness is deadly poison to your body, mind, and spirit: love yourself
enough to let it go. 12> SELF LOVE IS ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE HAPPY
Happiness is to be found in only one place: inside your own heart
right at this moment. So many people lose so much by waiting until
I "get healthier, find my dream partner, get a new job, get a new
house, or lose the weight, and so on". And when they get those things
then they wait for better ones until they learn the hard lesson that
"happiness deferred is happiness denied". So get happy: start now by
doing more of the things that make you happy on a daily basis. Look
for joy everywhere. Laugh or do a good deed just for fun! Love
yourself enough daily to "smile, 'cause when your smilin', the whole
world smiles with you!" Credits: adapted from
Louise Hay's "How to Love Yourself Worksheet", information provided by
Robin Pearl Smith, and
from channeled information |
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